Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Scribe

Some years ago, before I knew what Paganism was, I started to visualize aspects of my psyche as locations. Unsurprisingly, the place where my memories are stored became a library. And since I am continually thinking about and reacting to my environment, I created a figure to record this information and archive it. I called her The Scribe. Basically, she is a bookish version of myself, with the long single braid I used to wear, glasses (of course), and wearing comfortable robes. You Chaos Magic people might call her a construct, from what I understand: I "created" her, or she is a part of me. She is the steward of my history -- even the things I have repressed or forgotten. As such, she is something of an intermediary between my conscious and unconscious mind. Once, I asked her about recovering past life memories, if I had any. She led me down to a neglected area. Badly damaged books littered the room. Then "she" said, more or less:

"Every time you die, this library floods, or burns, or is ruined some other way. You can try to piece together stories from the scraps that remain. Maybe they will trigger something deep within you. But it would be a long and frustrating journey. Are you certain you want to begin?"

I still haven't answered. Of course, this was a staged conversation between me and myself, instead of an outside entity, and therefore was (almost) entirely under my control. But it helps, to visualize my mind thus. Plus it's a good mental exercise. Maybe someday I'll describe the library itself, and other locations.