PBP: New Beginnings

This post is mudane, in the most literal sense of the word, but it is still important.

Earlier this week I applied to a Graphic Designer / Illustrator job that I actually qualified for. And to do this, I completed the portfolio that I had worked on fitfully for over three years. Doesn't sound like much? Well, I spent those years mired in self-doubt, depression, and insecurity about my skills. It was awful; I was pathetic. The job opening provided the impetus I needed to make the final push and finish the thing. Now I feel...cleaner, in my soul. I finally overcame my (largely self-imposed) restrictions. Hopefully this marks a new chapter in my life, one where I am not so afraid to do what I'm good at.

PBP: Belief Is Mutable, Truth is Manifold

The more I read about religious/spiritual things, and watch people argue about those things, the less stable it all feels...and the less certain I become. My conclusions can be summed up in a line from the video game series Assassin's Creed: "Nothing is true. Everything is permitted."

In a religious context, I interpret it to mean that almost everything put forth as A Right Way To Live, or The Right Way to Worship Your Gods If Any, should be scrutinized. What is true for the writer may not be true to you. It may even be true for a large group of people (past or present), but that does not mean it is the same for you. This multitude of truths eventually collapses on itself; "everything" and "nothing" start to look nearly the same.*

Now, for the second half: "Everything is permitted." If there are so many truths, then the paths to those truths are even more diverse. How you get there is less important than arriving, in this context. Of course, most people try to avoid dangerous and/or harmful methods, to themselves or others, but I cannot exclude those methods entirely. I'm trying to talk about all of humanity, here. (And probably failing. I'm trying hard not to whitewash this, but how successful can I be, as a pale-skinned American woman?)

While other may find this "anything goes" motto liberating, I am daunted. It is not a comfortable stance to take.

I may expound on this later, but for now, I am tired from forcing my thoughts into words.

* Note: This is not an excuse to ignore history. The way I've tried to explain it sounds like I would condone that, but I don't. I intended to say that one should wear a critical thinking cap at all times, and not take anything at face value.

PBP: Blackberry Season

I am shamelessly turning this into a Pagan Blog Project post, because I need a second B.

Today, instead of taking a 5-minute drive down the street, I took a fifteen minute walk to a store and back again. I am now slimy from the combination of sunscreen and sweat (you're welcome, for that mental image), but it was worth it. Doubly so because on the way back, I picked blackberries as I went. They were growing wild amid the landscaping and didn't seem to be targeted by anything harsher than pruning shears, so I figured, why not? I nearly filled my water bottle with them. I had to empty it to make room; but it made a nice expression of thanks for the thirsty plants. Water is easier for a human to come by.

Blackberries are rather special to me: I grew up in a suburban area, but with the benefit of a designated, no-can-touch greenbelt behind the backyard, so I had a wonderfully leafy view. Because it surrounds a streamlet, the land is swampy, and blackberry bushes crowd the ground level. Unfortunately, the neighborhood committee sometimes poisons the ones growing on the edges, to control the brambly tide, so I wasn't allowed to pick the fruit as a kid. I know now that they're an invasive species -- that's why they take over so easily. But their presence was welcome. In addition to the blackberries, that strip of land houses cottonwoods, alders, low-growing willows, indian plum trees, and a couple salmon berries. (At least the last two are native.) Someday, I'll remember to take pictures when I go back to visit my parents.

Speaking of pictures, I decided to share this bounty with the gods on my altars. There is no prayer behind these gestures; they're presents, and tokens of good will.

I recently bought a nice blend of green and white teas from Celestial Seasonings. I thought Kuanyin might like some, so I gave her a portion from my mug in addition to the fruit.

 

I dared not leave Hekate out.

And even though Athena has been quiet lately, I decided to put two berries in her offertory dish, too.

Now, sometime tonight, I'll have to move or break down my altar so it doesn't get paint on it when the porch door is finished up. It would be all right if I was the one doing the painting, but I'm not. Call me a hermit, but I do not enjoy strangers entering my home, even on legitimate business. If it was up to be, the apartment complex would have never been painted in the first place....grumble-mumble. On the bright side, maybe I'll have new altar pictures to show you soon; that arrangement in front of Hekate is, I feel, out of date.

Paga Blog Project: B is for Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab makes perfume oils. Amazing perfume oils inspired by literature, mythology, and a touch of fantasy. Ever wanted to smell like a cold, wet forest? Try Nocnitsa [1]. That was the one that hooked me. I was amazed that someone could put that precise scent in a little 5 mL bottle. Not surprisingly, people can and do use them in their religious practices. I am one of them.

First, and most obviously, there's the method of anointing yourself or an object with an appropriate oil for a ritual or spell. I've only done this once, as part of a little service to honor Hekate at the new moon. I wore the scent that bears her name [2] on my skin. In theory, being cloaked in scent would help create a working space, and help me focus...But that time, the ritual fell flat. The phone-line to Deity was connected, but I didn't have anything to say, so I just...listened to the dial tone. (I realized later that I was wearing my Athena owl necklace during the whole thing. That may have contributed to the awkwardness.) I intend to try again at the next new moon, if not sooner.

(Sidenote: The owner and prime perfumer, Beth, is a pagan too, and also provides "charged" ritual oils at Twilight Alchemy Lab. From what I've read by the people who've used them, they pack quite a punch.)

Most of the time, though, I use my selection for a far more basic purpose: to prepare for the day ahead. It can be just as effective as using it for a spell. I call it "perfuming with intent." For example, I've dabbed on Athens[3] for Athena when I need a little strength. (Or Whip[4], when I want to be a SECRET DOMINATRIX. Ahem.) Simple psychology, right? But it's effective. Not to mention the compliments you'll get because you smell so good and/or interesting...

Does anyone else use scents as a part of their craft? I'd like to know!

-   -   -   -   -

Official descriptions:
[1] "Also known as Krisky, Plaksy and Gorska Makua, she is a nightmare spirit, the Night Hag of the Woods, who haunts Polish, Russian, Bulgarian and Slovak children during the darkest hours. The only protection against her torments is a circle drawn around a child's cradle with a knife, or an axe or protective poppet hidden under the floorboards beneath where a child sleeps. Her scent is that of a lightless fir wood, nighttime air, wet forest mosses and upturned earth."

[2] "Magnificent three-faced Goddess of Magic, the Dark Moon and the Crossroads. She is the Mother of Witches, and the midnight baying of hounds is her paean. Her compassion is evidenced in her role as Psychopomp for Persephone, and her wrath manifests as Medea's revenge. Deep, buttery almond layered over myrrh and dark musk."

[3] "A reformulation and modernization of a true Classical Greek perfume, myrrhine: voluptuous myrrh, golden honey, red wine, and sweet flowers"

[4] "Agony and ecstasy: black leather and damp red rose."