A Tarot Reading

A reading done for Dusken, put here because I don't trust Tumblr's formatting.

Dusken asked about "confirming some findings." The cards ("Shadowscapes Tarot" by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law) and I came up with this answer:

1. The core of the issue: XV The Devil. Someone or something is draining you, keeping you chained. Escape may be near, but you are unable to see it at this time. (Note the key in the mouth of the mask above the woman's cell.)

2. What helps or hinders: 5 of Wands. A bunch of little problems have tumbled together to become a huge issue. Probably what's keeping you enslaved in The Devil Card.

3. The Foundation, or why you asked: Queen of Wands. A rightfully proud, confident, and artistic woman. Can be manipulative, but if that were the case, I think the card would be reversed. I am never 100% sure if the royal cards refer to people or their traits, but I'm getting a "person" vibe. Reminds me a bit of you, or at least how you project yourself over the Internet.

4. What has happened: 6 of Cups. Whatever this issue is, there is nostalgia attached to it. Possibly something from your childhood? Unfortunately, everything can't go back to the way it once was.

5. What may happen, or is happening: 6 of Wands. From the book that came with the deck: "The Six of Wands symbolized victory and triumph. Once has prevailed and overcome many obstacles to come out on top. But you must beware falling prey to hubris and lassitude that uncontested victory may bring, and not become lost in self-importance."
     To be honest, I've never liked this card. The man in it is...overconfident. What secrets does the shining hero hide in his heart? I feel that how he stands above the Devil Card (and the poor woman under its hooves) is significant. Maybe this is a person who is keeping you locked up? Someone who thinks they are acting righteously? I may be totally wrong.

6. What will happen: 7 of Pentacles. This one marks a choice: act now, or wait for conditions to improve -- but they may not.

7. How you see yourself: 2 of Pentacles. You are juggling many responsibilities at once. You're doing okay, for the moment, but the situation is precarious.


8. How others see you: 4 of Cups. Listless, bored. But you are not as alone as you think you are...and that is a good thing to be reminded of, especially in the depths of melancholy and self-pity.

9. What you must get through: 8 of Wands (reversed). Upright, this card could mean the start of a long journey. So, reversed, I interpret this to mean you are being held back, expending yourself with no visible progress. Think of the 5 of Wands from earlier. But it seems you won't be stuck forever.


10. The End Result: Knight of Pentacles. Finally, moving ahead! (I hope this means you'll be able to move away from your awful parents soon!) The Knight is rather stubborn and single-minded, but those are beneficial traits for his mission.

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Hopefully that helps!

PBP: Deity

Personal, under-construction definition of deity: any incorporeal being that, through recognition (naming) and sustained attention from others, gains a measure of influence over the "real" world (one of many, in my view). Whether they existed before, or sprung from the first seeds of thought, I can't claim to know -- and the point is moot, anyway. They are around now. For those representing natural forces that existed before humans, perhaps they were there as raw spirit energy, and names gave them identity. Of course, I can only speculate on human gods. Other creatures would see things differently. Examples of animal mythos (as envisioned by humans, but it's the closest we'll get): Skywater by Melinda Popham and Watership Down by Richard Adams.

 This could have been an essay but I'm not sure what else to say. What are your thoughts?

PBP: Cyberization

(Screenshot from the film "Ghost in the Shell: Innocence")

I would like you to ponder the vehicle by which you are reading this. Not your eyes and brain, but your computer and the internet: electronic pulses through fine wires, and waves in the very air. (Note: I am not a computer scientist. This is my layman's understanding.) It is truly a web, spun by and for humans, but it operates outside of us, reliant on your device of choice and the systems behind it. Do you ever wonder what your computer thinks of the data it processes for you? Maybe not much, at present, but maybe 20 years from now...Well, I look forward to seeing what will happen.

How does this fit in with my spiritual practices? For one, I rely pretty heavily on the Internet for information and discussion. (I'm doing that now.) But beyond that -- I feel like I'm walking two paths at once, that of technophile, and that of the nature-lover (but hopefully not idealizer). On one hand, this separation from and meddling with the rest of the world worries me, and on the other, I'm fascinated by what new doors computer and the internet will open. Maybe I just read too much science fiction...

Grah, this post didn't turn out like it was supposed to. It was supposed to be lyrical and more insightful, but then my wrists started hurting, the screen tired out my eyes, and it became 5:00 p.m. on the duedate. Better luck next time, self.

Reblog: But We Have a Queer!

But We Have a Queer!

Quote: "This is one of the many issues that has been on my mind lately: the idea that you can ‘prove’ that there are not problems of heteronormativity, monosexism, and cisexism in the Pagan and polytheist communities because, “We have queers!” Any critical thought shows that for the poor argument it is, but I still see it time and again…and again…and again."

By Aine over at Patheos.com

No Pagan Blog Project post today. I didn't think about what to write about until two days ago, and then it was an important thing that I need to spend time on. Hopefully it will be worth the wait.

PBP: New Beginnings

This post is mudane, in the most literal sense of the word, but it is still important.

Earlier this week I applied to a Graphic Designer / Illustrator job that I actually qualified for. And to do this, I completed the portfolio that I had worked on fitfully for over three years. Doesn't sound like much? Well, I spent those years mired in self-doubt, depression, and insecurity about my skills. It was awful; I was pathetic. The job opening provided the impetus I needed to make the final push and finish the thing. Now I feel...cleaner, in my soul. I finally overcame my (largely self-imposed) restrictions. Hopefully this marks a new chapter in my life, one where I am not so afraid to do what I'm good at.

PBP: Belief Is Mutable, Truth is Manifold

The more I read about religious/spiritual things, and watch people argue about those things, the less stable it all feels...and the less certain I become. My conclusions can be summed up in a line from the video game series Assassin's Creed: "Nothing is true. Everything is permitted."

In a religious context, I interpret it to mean that almost everything put forth as A Right Way To Live, or The Right Way to Worship Your Gods If Any, should be scrutinized. What is true for the writer may not be true to you. It may even be true for a large group of people (past or present), but that does not mean it is the same for you. This multitude of truths eventually collapses on itself; "everything" and "nothing" start to look nearly the same.*

Now, for the second half: "Everything is permitted." If there are so many truths, then the paths to those truths are even more diverse. How you get there is less important than arriving, in this context. Of course, most people try to avoid dangerous and/or harmful methods, to themselves or others, but I cannot exclude those methods entirely. I'm trying to talk about all of humanity, here. (And probably failing. I'm trying hard not to whitewash this, but how successful can I be, as a pale-skinned American woman?)

While other may find this "anything goes" motto liberating, I am daunted. It is not a comfortable stance to take.

I may expound on this later, but for now, I am tired from forcing my thoughts into words.

* Note: This is not an excuse to ignore history. The way I've tried to explain it sounds like I would condone that, but I don't. I intended to say that one should wear a critical thinking cap at all times, and not take anything at face value.