Sunday, December 15, 2013

Strange Happenings

You know what's uncomfortable? Getting flashes of staggering wearily along an underground tunnel, barefoot, with blood (that is probably not yours) slicking your hands and arms nearly to your elbows. Off and on, for about a week. This happened several months ago. (I still need to cement the timeline, because I did not clearly write it down when it was happening. Stupid me.) It is the closest thing to a vision I've had in recent memory...and last week I finally asked my Tarot deck if it could tell me what led to that scene. (Sorry, no photo of the spread. Six cards in the first row, and one in the second, is correct.)

Queen of Cups3 of CupsKing of SwordsThe FoolThe TowerThe Magician

I am operating under the assumption that part of me was doing things my waking mind was not aware of. So, after staring at the cards for a few minutes without writing any analysis, I wondered...did the deck just tell me I met some people while traipsing through the Otherworlds, possibly imbibed some substances, and then did something disastrously stupid? Upon looking at this again, a second interpretation struck me: that I was being naive, but then something huge happened (not necessarily my doing), and I learned enough to become a fledgling Magician. The shocking event probably was the death of my step-grandpa, who I had not seen in over a decade. I did not say this before, but around that time I felt prodded by Hades & Persephone, so I sat down, arranged my altar to open a line to them, and asked what they wanted. The answer was muddled and disturbing. The one clear image/sensation I got, I am not sure I am at leave to share. I am still puzzling over its meaning. Anyway, a few days later I learned that Grandpa had died...possibly the day I was spurred to reach out to those gods.

A pattern: I feel drawn to a deity, so I read about them. Days, weeks, or months of this later, I seek them out directly. They usually have something -- one thing -- to tell me, and will repeat it until I internalize it. With Athena, it was: Learn, Make. Guan Yin: Don't hate yourself so much. Hekate: change your circumstances now, or die like this, miserable. And so far, from Hades & Persephone: someone you hold dear in memory is leaving your world.