Monday, July 15, 2013

Form, Shape, and Body Extensions

I've had this stretched, not-quite-itchy feeling between (and slightly under) my shoulderblades for the last two days. I think Bea's (kingofwands, over at Tumblr) realizations contributed to this. I also blame sitting slouched most of the time. Dusken's recent post over on Tumblr made the pieces fall together, though.

Oh hell, I'm just going to come out and say it: when it is often inexplicably uncomfortable to rest your upper back against a chair, Something May Be Up. (See also: my previous post titled Form, Shape and its follow-up.) The most recent resurgence may be the power of suggestion, but that doesn't explain everything.

I still don't trust myself. I'm human, damn it, no matter what pieces of soul-stuff came together to make me. I would like to know about those pieces, but...arghlgrgl. So. Much. Confusion. Self-doubt and skepticism are great in moderation, but too much, and you can never get anywhere.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Impulsive and Intuitive Witchery

That's what I do best, it seems.

This morning I took a walk in the nearby park. I itched to be outside and be alone. This park is...not good for the latter, so I was wary and distressed at the beginning that I wouldn't find a private spot. Subconsciously (not quite un-consciously), I drew upon The Deer to quiet my steps and sharpen my senses.* My mood started to improve when I found treasures: an evergreen cone in the shape of a rosette, a stalk of mint from a neglected garden, and a huge, soft pink rose petal that dropped from a bush in a neighbor's yard. I also saw hummingbirds! One female hovered within arm's reach. (From my bird book, I'm guessing an Anna's. Or perhaps a Rufous.) I saw two more, or maybe the same one twice, near where I picked up the rose petal. By the time a returned home, I was grinning in delight and awe at the small wonders of the world.

I used the mint stalk to cleanse the apartment of spiritual junk...or at least try to. I'm not sure how effective I was -- it only took a few minutes -- but even partial cleaning is better than none, and besides, mint smells nice. I also may have locked myself out of the apartment while pushing the accumulated crap out the window in the hall. Thankfully, my partner was inside (though asleep), so I was spared having to explain to my manager why I stepped outside my door with nothing in my hands but a mint sprig. Thus rescued, I rinsed the plant and hung it to dry for later use..probably as tea.

Lesson of the day: I work best spontaneously. I still don't know if my attempts at spell-work are effective at all, but stuff like this has not backfired yet. I am encouraged to continue.

* As mentioned previously, I sometimes feel deer-like. I have not decided what this means. But I did look at this picture the other day and think about the spotted one, "Oh look, it's me."